Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
