People in love make me want to vomit
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
