That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.