Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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(480): View more from Arizona

She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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(416): View more from Toronto

"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face

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(618): View more from Illinois

We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.

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