i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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