Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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