Im at strip club and am horny
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He felt like a one man threesome
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
