Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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