there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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