I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
