dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
