Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
