I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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