dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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