Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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