you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
