Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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