My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
