Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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