Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
