I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
