I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
