will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
