how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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