I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize