her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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