Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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