If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
