Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
