You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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