She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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