I am puke
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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