I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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