Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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