i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
