who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
