these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
