And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
