so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
there is puke in my bra ... again
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