well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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