Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
