That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
