i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
