He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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