Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
