Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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