My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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