HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
