So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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