Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
