I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
