so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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