I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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